The
power and influence of the society in determining our thinking, behaviours,
belief and value systems cannot be overemphasised.
In
every community there are expected patterns and manners of behaviour which most
definitely is to make everyone appropriate in thinking and fit for co-existence
with other people. There are cultures, ethics, norms and traditions, put in
place, acceptable by everyone in the community which sets the tone and pattern
for co-habiting and co-existence.
Culture,
tradition, rules and norms shape the way we live together as mankind. The more
tolerant, productive, peaceful and liberating a culture is, the more civil that
culture is believed to be, hence when a culture is restricting, discriminatory,
conservative or infringes on personal rights, its believed and classified as
primitive or uncivil.
The
power of cultures and traditions lie in the ability to shape and reform the
dynamics of our mind. In every society, People feel really bad and guilty when
they indulge in matters or behaviours not acceptable in their tradition or
society. They think they have become bad, a non-conformist, a rebel and a
spoiler simply because they have not acted or behaved within the provisions and
guidelines of the traditions, rules or laws of their community or society. They
see themselves as law breakers.
Civilised
societies don't enact laws and rules primarily to protect or preserve the
interest or selfish ambition of the rulers or the more powerful in the society.
Civilised societies usually enact laws that would protect the rights and
desires of each member of the society.
However,
whether in primitive or civilised societies, rules, regulations and traditions
enacted and propagated to either protect the rights of the powerful or the
rights of the commoners or the rights of everyone cannot bring about good
growth, real prosperity and progress if it is based on feelings and not
outcomes.
The
consequence or implication of particular human traits, behaviours, desires and
preferences should be the basis for enacting laws and cultures and not just for
freedom sakes.
In
truly civilised societies, human rights should be the right to do what is right
and not the right to do what we like, because many times what we really want
and like can hurt us and others.
Because
we are naturally weak as mankind against the desires of our carnal nature, we
often experience frustration in life. The things we do not want to do, we find
ourselves doing, that which we want to do, we struggle in doing.
Sincerely
in our hearts, and by design mankind is good, kind, considerate and caring. But
there is a force, the power of the flesh, the carnal nature constantly
contending and suppressing our will to be our original good self.
Self-centeredness and weakness of the senses in lusting after the pleasures of
what we see, what we feel and how we want to be perceived keep running contrary
and suppressing our fundamental and natural good nature as humans.
That's
why even if someone hurts you and you revenge, after a while you will begin to
feel bad and remorse would set in for hitting back; you will feel empty and
low, you can in fact become angry at yourself and feel so sad and sorry when
you see the pain caused by your vengeance, this is because by nature, you are
not designed to hurt anyone even your enemies. But the power of the carnal
nature; this nature you're weak against, keeps pushing you to do that which you
deep on the inside don't want to do.
This
war within unfortunately has today made many of us unhappy, depressed, angry,
frustrated and disgusted about life.
Worse
still is the constant judgement and criticism of our wrong acts and bad
behaviour by other people. They judge, criticise, condemn and reject us because
of the wrong things we do and the bad habits we have. Little do they know that
we hate the fact we are that way much more than they do.
We
hate to lie, we hate to steal, we hate to gossip, we hate to slander, we hate
being jealous, greedy and we're so ashamed of our gluttony, being overweight
and even our sexual perversions. We hate the fact we are that way more than
anyone can know; yet, no one sees that and they just conclude we are deliberate
and proud of our despicable acts.
Sadly
we face a battle on the inside and a worse battle on the outside; battles of
rejection, condemnation, criticism and judgement from other people
we believe and think ought to help us and love us through our struggles until
we overcome. Hmm.
Consequently
in rebellion; out of frustration and not finding that help and truth on how to
escape, we change our approach on our coping methods with our sad lives and
weaknesses. We then begin to challenge the rules of proper living and question
why what is obviously not appropriate is said not to be appropriate and
acceptable.
We
know these acts are wrong but we want to sell them as right and we want the
society to buy and accept them as right. We're tired of struggling with this
wrong thing and seeing ourselves as wrong and we want to feel right still doing
what is wrong because we have become absolutely powerless against this wrong
habit and behaviour; seeing no help, only criticism from everywhere. We want to
make what is wrong acceptable as right in the society to escape criticism,
judgement and condemnation and also feel free to a degree.
Dear
friend, no matter how well sold a lie is, it remains as untrue in the depth of
your conscience because you are naturally designed with a good nature and a
perfect conscience.
Celebrate
it all you like, sell it as hard as you can, when you're alone, with yourself,
by yourself, in your room, when all the noise is over and evil encouragers
gone, in the stillness of your spirit, and the silence of your mind, there is
this still small voice, deep on your inside, telling you in love and
tenderness, that you are wrong.
Dear
friend, believe me I understand your struggles and personal weaknesses;
everyone struggles, we all have weaknesses and bad habits too, it's just that
most of us are hypocrites; we pretend and hide behind religion until we are
caught and exposed.
Your
approach shouldn't be trying to make people accept that wrong as right, it
should be in seeking people that are real, true, kind, understanding and
helpful; willing to help you overcome the habit, the addiction, the bitterness,
the jealousy, your over eating, your obesity, your vile tendencies, your
drunkenness, your immorality and sexual perversion. You don't really want
people to accept you and let you remain in your self-destructing behaviours,
what you really want and need is help to overcome and be good and strong and
free.
No
matter how you paint the nasty habit as okay, you really don't need a habit
that will make your ability to marry or your marriage difficult, you don't need
a habit that would make your career prospects and business difficult, you don't
need a habit that would jeopardise your health, you don't need a habit that
would make you lose your mind, you don't need a habit that will make you sick or
bring you terminal illness, you don't need a habit that will bring you
disrespect and ridicule and shame, you don't need a habit that will make you
poor, you don't need a habit that could bring you sudden death and you
definitely don't need a habit you can't defend before your God and creator when
your days on earth are over.
You
need love. And guess what? you're perfectly imperfect for some of us who aren't
hypocrites, who understand and are willing to love you through your struggle
and walk with you all the way, till you eventually overcome, till you become
free, till you become victorious and become truly happy. You deserve a happy
life. You only live once you know.
Join
Muyiwa Afolabi's live class every Sunday evening at 5pm. Venue; The Event
Centre..................Our messages are also available for download. Click on
the "online store" tab and download. Thank you and please enjoy your
day.
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